What Queer Theory Taught Me About Being a Better Therapist

Pride is a reminder, not a marketing opportunity

I know it’s not my voice that needs to be centred during Pride Month. However it is an opportunity to reflect and check in with myself on how I show up for LGBTQ+ clients in my professional practice, and LGBTQ+ people in my everyday life. As part of professional practice I have a responsibility to listen, learn, and examine where my beliefs come from and on what assumptions were they formed. A question all therapists should ask themselves is “What do I believe to be normal?”, which should lead to a curiosity about why that belief is held.

What is Queer Theory, and why does it matter in therapy?

Queer theory challenges fixed ideas about gender and sexuality. It asks us to notice the ways society imposes norms—and how those norms can limit peoples freedom, limit space for authentic expression, and impact the safety of marginalised communities in society.

“Queer theory explains that we are constantly performing [the] narratives and structures of male-ness, female-ness, straight-ness, normal-ness, etc. When you get up in the morning, put on a skirt, and desperately try to find a husband before your overbearing mother considers you a failure, you’re taking part in a production of power in which we’re all implicated. (Wolters, 2013, para. 4)”

In therapy, it reminds us that people are not problems to be fixed. That identity is fluid. That language matters. That the room must feel like a space where people of all identities are affirmed—not just accepted, but deeply seen.

Learning, unlearning, and listening

In “Gender Identity, Queer Theory, and working with the sociopolitical in counselling and psychotherapy” by Helen Rowland* and William Cornell they consider the importance of working with sociopolitical issues in the therapy room with reference to gender identity, transgender identity, and gender politics. . It’s not just academic—it’s practical. It pushes me to think about power, privilege, and what inclusivity looks like beyond lip service.

Holding space for all identities

True inclusivity in therapy doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a practice. An ongoing one. And as therapists, we need to be open to examining our blind spots, our biases, and our beliefs. Because everyone deserves to feel safe, understood, and respected in the therapy room.

The “neutral” is maintained by inviting a shared curiosity about the meanings we attach to ideas, without steering the conversation with my own political views. In this space, everything can be explored openly and questioned, while still being met with a professional, compassionate lens. It’s a therapeutic space where queer perspectives meet clinical curiosity, and where inquiry is paired with acceptance.

Forget black and white thinking, or even grey areas - the world is technicolour and more beautiful for it.

*Thank you to Helen Rowland for sending me the full article on, which informed this post.